.gniknis

that _sinking feeling in your chest really is real, isn't it?
and that t e a r i n g apart, inside you. like your being
torn from something. but in this case at least ;
someone.
you just can't take your mind off of it,
no matter how much you smile, or do something to keep you
occupied it's just always there, nagging in the back of your mind.
all your thoughts are infected, and it takes over your life day to day.
even though your here it's like your not, and it's killing me.
i could forget about you,
but something about you just won't let me let you go.
something about you has had me holding on through all of this,
no matter what you say i just keep running back to you.
and it's not even that charm you have.
it's deeper than that.
but i thought i understood you, actually i do understand you.
more than anyone else really does.
and you know it too .. did you forget about that?
& did you forget about how you didn't want to l o s e me?
well i kept my promise,
cause even after everything, i'm still here. and i always will be.
even if i don't mean what i used to to you.
i know that when everyone else in the world walks out on you,
i'll be walking in. cause i'm the only one that really tried to understand every word you say,
everything you do. your not shallow, your deeper than the ocean.
and some things are so far down i still can't see them.
and everything that's happening.. i' m not floating anymore,
nevermind swimming.
i'm drowning , and sinking slowly.
i'm lost and i don't even know where to go anymore, caught in your undertow.
i'm fine with friends, i guess. but why does it have to be like this?
so on and off , driving me crazy.
to be honest, with you 'good enough' and my name will never be in the same sentence.
why did it all end so fast?

impossible.

I wish that I can give you e v e r y t h i n g you been wanting
But you make it so hard cos you want ^all or _nothing
And I can't do the impossible
What you want from me is impossible
I love you but
You never wanna give and take you want things your way
And I ain't gon do it all you gotta come half way
Cos I can't do the impossible
Loving you is next to impossible.

blameitontheRAIN.

You got me caught in all this mess
I guess we can Blame it on the Rain
My pain is knowing I can't have you

Tell me, does she look at you the way I do,
Try and understand the words you say
and the way you m o v e ?
Does she get the same big rush
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush
Tell me am I crazy, am I crazy?

I catch my breath
The one you took the moment you entered the room
My heart it b r e a k s at the thought of her holding you.

dec23

'everyone in your life is going to hurt you at some point in time, you just have to figure out who's worth the pain. '

i'm still hurting, but your still worth it.

lightsoff.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
it's you that I'm missing
it's like my brain is wired up
and there's a glitch in my system
you're like a drug and now my blood won't stop itching
I'm in critical condition
someone let me out of this prison
it's like my mind is playing tricks on me lately
I could of sworn that you are still my baby
I'm on a merry-go-round
going around, driving me c r a z y

That's why it feels like
losing you is like somebody just
turned all the lights off
won't somebody, anybody
please just turn the lights on
I won't take one step
I can't see what's coming next
losing you is like somebody just
turned all the lights off
can't see at all
cause it's like somebody just turned all the lights off

I don't understand how one minute I just had it all
now I can't reach you cos I'm tied up
with this straight jacket on
I can't b r e a t h e
I can't see
it's like my mind is playing tricks on me lately
I could of sworn that you are still my baby
I'm on a merry-go-round
going around, driving me crazy

Used to see my world in color
when you left me it's like my world turned gray
turn my winter into summer
why won't you help me turn night to day
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think at all
honestly it feels like I ain't living no more
can't say no more, can't see no more

well hello again.

well,
it's been a while.
okay longer than a while. i haven't blogged in timeeeeeee.
i think the last was like summer?
w/e. it's nearly like christmas now,
and idk what to say, theres too much to say really.
so many things have happened since school started,
holy i don't even know where to begin.
actually, i'm not gonna go there.
there's literally not enough space or time to write it all out.
all i can say is, highschool is nothing like i expected.
you'd never think how quickly you can become close to people,
and how quickly you can loose them too.
like you've gone through an entire friendship cycle with someone in just a few months.
so many things have changed, and i'm starting to dislike it. alot.
nothing can stay good for a while. it was all good when we didn't know much about eachother,
and everyone was pretty much happy. i swear we walk around like zombies nowadays,
just waiting for the say to be over. but w/e , it's the holidays now.
i really needed the break more than ever.
i can't complain with a lot of things though. earlier this school year i got a lot of things off
my shoulders, finally. and i'm doing just fine without it, i'm a lot happier.
now there are other things to deal with, but i'm just living life day by day,
no other way to do it ahaa
it was so good for that time being, it's like i had it all together.
and i still can't let go.
but for the most part, all i can say is
i tried.

bye summer ?

So , i'm bored .
i haven't written in a real long time , again ?
and summer's almost over .
basically , everything's been fun . the weather started to get better ,
(figures , towards the END of summer .)
honestly . i'm really pissed that i haven't even been swimming LOL !
or to a beach ... i'd kill for a beach right now . D:
I've been WoWing a lot though ... lmfao oh man .
orientaion waaaas , um good ? i don't know i just know it didn't exactly help with the whole navigation part - which is gonna be my problem LOL .
i cannot get to each class within five minutes ( y ) fml
yeah so highschooooool , true :S
i don't know what to think - whatever .
i just really need to get my sleeping patterns normal again ?
eugh , i'll continue this ... sometime